This is Peter Cushing. You may remember him as the Grand Moff Tarkin. Or as Baron von Frankenstein and Von Helsing in numerous Hammer films, or maybe as Heinrich Haussner in Son of Hitler.
Kind of. His name is actually Dr. Who, he’s human, and he calls the Tardis simply “Tardis,” eschewing the article, as one ought when one mentions “Butthole Surfers.”
Where does this doctor fit in the continuum of the extant Eleven? He doesn’t. Best I can tell he’s maybe a distant relative, like maybe a Time Cousin, who’s just freeloading of his actual Time Lord family. He even got himself a Tardis, which I don’t think is really a Tardis, but one of those replica kits that you buy and build on the chassis of an old Volkswagen Beetle. But if you bumped into him at a cocktail party you’d probably mistake him for an actual Time Lord.
Those of you who are steeped in the canon will enjoy this odd side-trip down a movie studio cul-de-sac. Those of you who are new to Doctor Who, well, just think of this guy as you’re favorite Grand Moff indulging in a bit of cosplay before he goes off to do whatever unspeakable acts Grand Moffs do in their free time.
Spit out that gum, sit up straight, and watch our helpful new short, Maintaining Classroom Discipline to find out just how to keep your classroom full of mischievous kids in line!
And if you don’t, we’ve got some after-school suspension with your name on it!
I LOVE this short. And I’m not exaggerating when I say that the first half of this film portrays PRECISELY the kind of teacher I had all through grade school and well into high school. Frankly I’m surprised that there’s not a crucifix visible on the wall.
This is the Terrace Cinema in Tinonee, New South Wales. At twenty-two seats, it is the smallest single-screen, commercially-run, take-your-ticket-have-a-seat theater in Australia, and the second-smallest in the world - some enterprising soul in Nottingham UK built one with twenty-one. The very cheek.
And this is Darren Bird, the thoroughly charming and affable proprietor, who runs the theater from his home, uses his bedroom window as a ticket booth, exhibits his films with stunning clarity on a pristine screen and invites you into the kitchen after the show for tea and biscuits.
I loved this place when I visited, and I wrote about it in my book A Year at the Movies: One Man’s Filmgoing Odyssey, which was released this very day as an eBook. And I’m hoping with the help of this World Wide Web of ours to find out if Darren is still in business. He’s been hard to track down. If anyone knows, please drop me a line. Thank you. Enjoy the book. No worries. Ta.
